Hello, friends! Sorry to be sparse around here lately–between Hawaii, jet lag and this crazy week (catching up on cleaning and so many appointments), I haven’t found the time or energy to write.
I’ve been having some odd health things lately that actually mirror some of my younger son’s health problems (unexplained circulatory stuff and joint hypermobility) so we’re looking into potential causes for that with a rheumatologist. And I’m trying not Google things because I get all sorts of stuff like connective tissue disorders and cardiovascular diseases… and those don’t sound very fun at all.
Yet I’m torn because for little A’s sake, I want a diagnosis for him. We have seen 14 specialists in 14 months (and counting!) and we still have no answers for his weeklong hospitalization, ER visits, motor delays, BEH, GI and sensory problems. Whenever we are referred to one specialist, it’s like opening a box to find the answer, only to find another box (another specialist referral) which contains another box, and so forth… and whilst I’m not acutely concerned about his health right now, it does feel like we will go on having a spate of minor issues until someone can solve the problem.
Anyways, that’s not what I’m here to discuss! Today’s feminine inspiration is a controversially-named book titled The Surrendered Wife.
Now… before anyone jumps down my throat… the “surrendered” part actually refers to not trying to control your partner, not allowing them to control you. Okay, now that we’ve gotten through that misconception…
I think this book is applicable to being a better, more feminine version of oneself in so many ways. The idea of not trying to control others’ behavior and not constantly feeling like their parent–it doesn’t just apply to spouses. How many of us are guilty of trying to direct and control others’ behavior at least sometimes, or of wanting to? Raises hand guiltily.
Yet it’s an incredibly unattractive trait that definitely doesn’t help us attract new friends, nor does it help build relationships. It’s rather exhausting to spend time around “control freaks,” right? Too many of us overlook that tendency in ourselves on the premise that we actually know best and if that person would just do what we want, life would be easier.
I’ve always admired women who seem at peace with the fact that they can’t control everything in life. From things happening around the world, to things happening in their personal lives, to the actions of other people. They’re able to surrender the illusion that they’re 100% in control–to a higher power or the Universe in general–and accept what happens, the good and the bad, as a part of life.
This doesn’t mean that these women are doormats, quite the opposite. They stand up for themselves confidently and are able to calmly deal with others’ negative emotions about their choices, and to deal with their own negative emotions about others. They are self-assured, don’t metaphorically wipe the floor after others’ mistakes, and they’re people you can confide in because you’re not afraid of their reactions.
This book has loads of tangible ways to live out these ideas in a romantic relationship, and whilst rather blunt at times, I would highly recommend it to anyone planning to get married, newly married or just in a marriage rut!
xx Claire