healthy food, lifestyle, travel, & everyday moments.
When we were in Colorado last month, we realized that whilst visiting faraway family was lovely, we hadn’t actually been on a vacation since our honeymoon in January 2019.
So, feeling refreshed and energized from our time outside of Boulder, we planned an exciting trip to somewhere we’d never been.… Read More »
Something that’s been happening in our family’s life lately is poor health. Which is quite honestly the main reason for my lack of writing lately–it’s hard to get anything done when you’re exhausted, feel ill and can’t think straight.
I was healthy growing up. In college, under incredible stress, I got Lyme’s disease, developed IBS and a lactose intolerance, got and recovered from an eating disorder, and struggled with lingering hormonal issues for a while afterwards.… Read More »
Just after I posted my life update post today, I realized that today marks eight years since the car accident at Carleton. I’ve written a lot about it before (mostly on previous blogs, occasionally mentioning it on here) so I’ll keep this short.
I didn’t want to let the day go by without marking it. As life-changing an event as it was for me, so many people at Carleton were much more affected. Not to mention the families of the young men who lost their lives that afternoon.
Often I think back to an informal memorial service for J, M, and P that happened at “the Cave” (Carleton’s kinda sorta music/club-ish venue) a couple of weeks after the accident. One of their friends got up to speak and said “I wish time would stop passing because I’m worried that I’ll forget them. I don’t want a day to go by where I don’t think of them.”
I think it’s such a testimony to the kind of people they were that still, 8 years–almost 3,000 days–later, rarely a day goes by where I don’t think about P. And I didn’t know him incredibly well.
I’m sure they are still reminding so many people who knew them that life is unpredictable and precious. And that knowing this, we can’t spend a second of our lives chasing superficial goals or letting other people’s desires for us direct our lives. We are only blessed with short stays here on earth–we must make the most of them.
xx Claire
In the past year we’ve spent 8 days in the hospital;
gone to several dozen doctors and specialists appointments (I lost count after 30);
seen a respiratory specialist, hematologist, neurosurgeon, eye doctor, gastroenterologist, plagio clinic, dermatologist, physical therapist, occupational therapist and speech therapist;
you’ve had 3 MRIs and 2 ultrasounds;
visited the ER 6 times;
we were just referred to two more specialists;
and we still don’t have any root cause diagnoses.
We spent 7 months nursing;
tried 6 formulas before we found one that worked;
and offered dozens of solid foods that you rejected.
(This week you put a spoonful of food in your own mouth for the first time.)
During my pregnancy I had 9 ultrasounds;
had a subchorionic hemorrhage;
spent 3 weeks on bedrest for placenta previa;
had a falling-out with my OB a month before birth;
had a precipitous unmedicated (not by choice) labor where the doctor almost didn’t make it;
and did the whole thing alone during the height of the pandemic.
Really, no credit to anyone but Eric. I did it myself.
My second pregnancy and this past year were excruciatingly hard,
but at the same time,
they forced me to dig down inside myself and find a sense of purpose and fulfillment besides simply checking the boxes,
the to-do’s, milestones and accomplishments.
I stopped living life on autopilot and started thinking critically, advocating for my kids, and enjoying the small everyday moments that separate life from life well-lived.
You, A, are intense and sensitive; you’re hilarious, clever and persistent.
I never had any trouble bonding with you despite all of our hours at hospitals and clinics.
When I look at you, I see a lot of my family, physically and in your personality.
I feel a huge responsibility not to see too much of them. Not to label you, limit you, or pass on unhealthy cycles of behavior that have plagued my family for decades.
You force me to slow down, celebrate difference, toss my expectations out the window and in some ways be a parent I wish I’d had–but more importantly, the parent you need.
Happy 1st Birthday butters, bebecino, sweet cheeks, gremlin, a-wok, Babers, my littlest love <3
20-somethings and 30-somethings are growing up, getting married and starting families in a crazy, crazy world lately.
I included “growing up” on that list because I believe that many parenting and educational techniques of the 90s and 2000s led to arrested development in many areas of life for millennials. I would be lying if I didn’t say that when I had my first baby, I essentially felt like I was starting motherhood from scratch.… Read More »
