The paleo diet, ancestral eating, pro-metabolic, the homesteading craze, the houseplant obsession–I think all of these trends are indicators that many of us feel that “progress,” as we define it, has in some ways taken us too far from our roots as human beings.
We have the instinctual drive to be capable/work with our hands, provide for ourselves and nourish younger beings–whether that’s plants, dogs or children–in a very basic sense. We crave contact with nature, our bodies crave nutrients in the forms and amounts that they’re found in whole foods, and our minds crave the sensory and intellectual stimulation that can be found doing handicrafts (versus working on the computer).
As the mother of young children, never have I found myself feeling more out-of-place than in this society that has a lot of negative things to say about prioritizing feeling human.
It seems that the things that are applauded nowadays aren’t cooking from scratch, growing your own tomatoes or forgoing extracurriculars or screens for your children in order to prioritize family time. Those things don’t show up on a resume or indicate “growth” as we define it now. They are practices that sustain us in a fundamental sense, and surely we as a society have “more important” things to focus on now. Buy a tomato at the store and get on with it, you know?
Us gardeners often even feel the need to justify our handiwork by lauding the higher nutrient content of homegrown tomatoes, our preparedness in case of the world ending as we know it, or how we’re boosting our children’s immune systems by letting them play in the dirt.
But for me at least, those are all benefits and not the ultimate motivation behind gardening, cooking, or living a simple life. The real reason I do those things is because it allows me to be present and soak up the little moments in life that otherwise wouldn’t happen, or I’d be on autopilot for; it fulfills a very primal need for contact with my means of sustenance, physical and spiritual.
In this day and age, how can we fill our cups as humans?
I guess this begs the question of “what does it mean to be human?” which is a complex question! To me it means remembering how humans lived for tens of thousands of years leading up to the ages for which we actually have a historical record–only a very tiny sliver of human history, despite all the history classes we take in high school.
From archeological studies we’ve been able to learn a great deal about how prehistoric humans lived–mostly as hunter-gatherers and some pastoralists. This has been an interest area of mine for many years, that I stumbled upon while trying out the paleo diet for health problems.
I really have so much more exploring to do and try, but here are my initial ideas about how to please the hunter-gatherer within us.
- Prioritize time with family. Whether that’s your immediate family or you’re lucky enough to live near and be close with extended family–through the years I’ve realized that my family of origin aren’t just people I hang out with when no one else is free, they’re my first choice to spend time with. They raised me well and I want their help passing on family values to my kids. They love and care about our family, and we love and care about them. We have inside jokes and traditions and go on new adventures all the time. More than anything else during the pandemic, I missed real contact with “my tribe” as it were–nothing else could replace that, despite differing beliefs about the political state of the world during those years.
- Eat real food. It’s easy to get into the habit of eating out/buying prepped foods more than you did, and there’s no point in feeling guilty. We have in recent years; it’s survival mode during those sleep regressions! Since adding Baby K to our family, I’ve slowly been phasing out the processed foods we relied on for a while–frozen pizzas on Friday nights, granola/cereal for busy mornings, energy bars to grab on the way to a doctor’s appointment–and replacing them with homemade versions or whole foods. I like knowing everything that goes into the foods on our plates and there’s something primally satisfying about kneading bread dough or learning how to cook a new cut of meat.
- Carry on (or create) traditions. I actually intend to write an entire blog post on the importance of rituals and traditions in the future–but partaking of regular traditions adds rhythm and meaning to the otherwise endless march of days. Whether that is holiday traditions once a year, religious practices or Pizza Fridays, creating and maintaining traditions is an integral part of family life.
- Garden. Little E is obsessed with my mom’s garden. I believe that all people, especially children, have a natural instinct to get in touch with their means of sustenance, and there is nothing like eating ripe tomatoes off the vine in the peak of summer to do that. Even if you’ve never gardened before, it’s never too late to start.
- Reject modern parenting advice. I don’t sleep train my children and co-sleep with them as needed. We don’t stock junky kid food or have iPads. We gentle parent, spend a lot of time outside, let our kids be bored and don’t rush to fix it. We’re learning how to prioritize time as a couple instead of catering to our kids’ every want (their needs obviously come first). We’re considering alternatives to public school for kindergarten since I’m not sure it aligns with our values. Dare to follow your instincts and be different. There are billions of people in the world and no one will look out for and care for your kids like you (and possible your “tribe” if you’re lucky to have one) like you do.
What are your thoughts? How do you tend to the human in you?
xx Claire
