Happy Thursday! Eric is taking the day off as I’m fighting a nasty sinus infection, and I’ve committed to spending as much of the day in bed as possible. I actually took a nap (!) yesterday evening and slept 8 hours (?!) last night so hopefully all this rest will clear things up.
Lately I’ve been thinking about how to be a more positive person, inside and out. Especially at this time of year—when life feels like a revolving door of preschool viruses, bad weather and long to-do lists—it’s easy to get bogged down. To feel frustrated with life, like there is no forward motion and nothing to look forward to either. The mindset is no good.
I have many blessings in my life that are in need of counting lately, rather than focusing on the things I can’t change at the moment. While it’s important to have long-term goals that we’re actively working towards, it’s even more important to stay present and positive in our lives right now. So here are my ideas for how to do that.
- Practice gratitude for the good parts of your life. Write it down or say it out loud to reinforce it!
- Acknowledge that there is always good to see, even when times are hard. It’s so easy to focus on the negatives and let them cloud your vision, but there is generally much more good than bad—see the bigger picture, it will give you perspective.
- Control the things you can control, release the things you can’t. A little preparedness for minor inconveniences (like illness) is prudent, but don’t lose your sanity preparing for every uncontrollable scenario under the sun. Life is for living.
- Get your regular doses of “Vitamin S.” Vitamin S being your social needs! It’s so easy to become negative when you feel disconnected. Texting or calling family or friends, or even just taking a walk through the park where you see other humans, is a quick way to lift your mood and gain some perspective.
- Choose not to spiral to worst-case scenarios mentally. What will happen, will happen. It’s possible to be realistic and also NOT imagine the absolute worst, every time.
- Ground yourself in the moment—take stock of what your senses are feeling and take small steps to make yourself more comfortable if necessary. Oftentimes tiny changes can vastly improve our quality of life, like releasing muscle tension, putting on a relaxing music track or an extra sweater if you’re cold.
- Don’t participate in gossip. Some people love to backtalk others or gloat about their misfortunes, because they are insecure in themselves and it makes them feel better. Don’t be one of those people.
- Check your humor. As someone who’s sense of humor naturally tends towards the dry, sarcastic end—I’ve realized the things I say when I’m being “funny” are often quite negative. These days I prefer to be less entertaining, more thoughtful and kind in my interactions.
- Just because you aren’t a born optimist, doesn’t mean you can’t train yourself to be one. Like anything in life, positivity is all about building the right habits of thought. They require some upfront work but soon, they actually change your psychology to see things in a more positive light. I took a college class on positive psychology my last term at Carleton and this was the biggest takeaway for me—that whilst I consider myself to innately tend towards pessimism/cynicism, that doesn’t mean I can’t change myself to be a natural optimist in the future. It’s better for quality of life and for the people around you, too; it’s a pleasant, attractive, feminine look to be the woman who brings joy and hopefulness to a conversation, rather than being the perpetual downer.
But tell me, how do you stay positive (and mindful) in your daily life? What would you add to this list?
xx Claire
