A lot of homemaking is like that. You set the dishwasher to run. You pop some hand washing in the tub to soak. You make an appointment to have the air conditioner serviced… next week. You water your garden and wait for the seeds to grow. You vacuumed the entry, but someone tracked dirt inside two minutes later. Your friends need to reschedule a playdate. Your cousin has to move a phonecall.
You want to be done but when it comes to making a home, there’s no such thing. There will always be something else on your to-do list–tomorrow, next month, next year.
The never-quite-done feeling, along with the natural uncertainty of many parts of homemaking (will the herbs grow? How much will it cost to fix that leaky faucet?), is one of the hardest parts of the job. I love making my own schedule, watching my kids grow, cooking and watching my family enjoy it. I don’t even hate laundry. But I did and sometimes still do, hate uncertainty and the fact that my to-do list is never empty.
When you’re a kid, you don’t have so many things to worry about and manage. This is why vacations are great, right? When I feel the most overwhelmed, I dream about going on vacation. Sometimes I even dream about moving to our vacation destination, as if the mundane everyday tasks I do here wouldn’t be necessary there. Spoiler alert: I would still need to do dishes and laundry overseas, and my kids would still argue over LEGOs.
Having kids is an excellent antidote to the feeling of wanting to be done, though. They are eager to be older, bigger and more skillful. My oldest is excited for kindergarten next year; my middle child wants to be big enough to use the lawn mower; and my youngest, well, he just wants to figure out the whole tricycle thing.
The other day, my oldest asked me how long until he’s a grownup. I told him about fourteen years. “That’s a long time,” he said with some disappointment. “When I’m a grownup, I’m going to buy a truck.”
It’s not that I don’t look forward to watching them grow up, but the years go so fast. I hope we have more kids, but someday, we’ll be done–there won’t be any more chubby-cheeked toddlers grabbing food off the counters, or kids asking me to read them one more chapter before bed. I look forward to being more of a human on my own, but I don’t want to wish away right now.
I don’t want to rush my kids through their lives either, ferrying them from one place to the next, hardly having a moment of down time to spend together. I’m trying to say “hurry up!” less and breathe more. I’m trying to resist the temptation to sign my oldest up for every pre-K activity under the sun and spend more time coexisting at home, with the windows open and muffins in the oven. Who cares if he doesn’t play baseball or learn to read in kindergarten? He has the rest of his life to do those things.
I’m trying to stop homemaking as efficiently as possible and spend it as enjoyably as possible instead. I spent high school and college rushing to the finish line, and I don’t want to live my entire life in the same way. I don’t want my kids to live any of their lives that way.
Remember to slow down and enjoy the moment today, even it’s just taking the time to do something slowly.
xx Claire