I often think about the fact that in two and a half short years, it will be time for my oldest child to start kindergarten.
Not in a teary, nostalgic kind of way–this child loves friends, adventures, learning, and general commotion; he’s a strong-willed, high-energy child–but in a “what am I going to do about that?” kind of way.
My own experience with the American education system was poor and (though I’ve never written about it) riddled with lockdown drills and the same threat of gun violence that pervades every public school in our country.
I wanted nothing more to be a teacher for years and years, but in college I burned out academically, thought realistically about what I would earn (next-to-nothing) versus the work I would be doing (much more than 40 hours per week) and decided it was not for me.
A few years ago an old classmate of mine ran for school board in our suburb. One of the planks in his political platform was arming teachers in this public school district.
Why are we so alone in the US? Educators, parents, and children alike?
I’m going to pick on a country that’s in our top three choices for expat-ing in the future. Norwegians own guns. Lots of guns. People love hunting in Scandinavia–it’s part of the culture, like here in Minnesota. And it’s not a passion that’s isolated to the backwaters, either. Hunting, trapping, fishing and ice-fishing are popular in the suburbs too.
Obviously Minnesota is known for having significant Norwegian and Swedish heritage, and the landscape is similar, so it’s not surprising that the cultures would overlap a lot too.
Gun ownership is regulated but most sane people above certain ages (18/21 depending on the firearm) are eligible for ownership. As long as you can document a need in one of the permitted categories, take the appropriate certification course, and store your weapon(s) safely, you can buy one.
The last mass shooting in the Norway happened in 2011.
I’d send my kids to public schools in Norway in a heartbeat. Who doesn’t want their kids to feel like a part of a larger community–a community that cares about them (healthcare, school safety), that makes them want to give back (part of the socialist worldview… it’s not every man for himself), that champions their rights above those of all others (strict laws prohibiting child abuse)? Kids have purpose and dignity in other countries–dignity beyond the womb. A true sense of community, belonging and being cared for that provide irreplaceable contentment.
I know it’s irreplaceable because it’s an elusive story tale here.
And no matter how much money we make or how much we try to isolate ourselves, we’ll never truly be safe or cared for. Because people get shot in grocery stores and even those of us with savings accounts are one cancer diagnosis away from bankruptcy.
Here I am so jaded that American Mom Claire almost judges hypothetical Norwegian Mom Claire for saying that. The public school option is lazy, says American Claire! I should be the one to raise my child, day in and day out, 24/7! No one else can be trusted with their best interests! It’s like I can’t imagine living in a place where I’m not on high alert, watching, judging, listening constantly. It’s like I can’t imagine a life without an underlying hum of fear.
No amount of therapy sessions will change the reality of the situation.
Crunchy moms aren’t bad people; they’re scared people. With good reasons to be so. And does your way of dealing with fear accomplish any more than theirs? I don’t necessarily count myself in this category anymore, but I understand.
No one else can be trusted. Our problem is about guns but it’s so much more than guns. Every relationship here is transactional and will be abandoned in a heartbeat if we sense we’re being cheated. We dig into our drive for self-preservation here; we know politicians on both sides are lying, we’re just here to claw back whatever we can from whoever we can. This is a “flawed democracy,” apparently. So flawed it doesn’t feel like a democracy at all.
How can you be loyal to anything or anyone in a system that prioritizes the financial and power interests of elected officials over the wellbeing of citizens? I don’t exclude Democrats or Republicans from that tendency; they’re both bad options. We can’t change things without voting, but there’s no one to vote for who will change anything.
At the end of the day we just cry about the child-sized body bags, the news stops covering it three days later, and we go on with our discontented lives.
“Any decent realtor,
walking you through a real sh!thold, chirps on
about the good bones: This place could be beautiful,
right? You could make this place beautiful.”
No, I don’t think anyone could.
xx Claire