I am a minimalist. I also have four kids, three of whom are not minimalists (the other one is three weeks old, so I’m not sure about his aesthetic yet). My olders love their toys, books, art supplies, random bits and bobs they’ve accumulated from birthday parties or the dentist’s office, school crafts… an endless array of things that are meaningful to them. C’est la vie!
However, we are six people in a four-bedroom house–and Eric works remotely, needing a full-time office space–so space is limited. To this end, and given our generous extended family, we realized a few years ago that we needed to cut back on gifts (both given to our own kids, and things we all receive). The stereotypical American Christmas is focused on the presents, but we needed and wanted something different.
One way we incorporate non-commercial traditions into our holiday season is our advent calendar. Another is streamlining our Christmas mornings at home with fewer gifts. This means we can spend more time visiting with extended family and playing outside on Christmas day.
When I first heard about the “four gift rule” a few years ago, I thought it was too extreme for me. As a kid I got wayyy more than four gifts for Christmas. But with four kids (and wanting more!) I realized it’s a great system for larger families in particular. In addition to cutting back on clutter–and creating more space for more imaginative play–I can be intentional about each gift my kids receive.
What is the four gift rule?
“Something they want, something they need, something to wear, something to read.” Here are some things we’ve given under each category before, or are planning to this year:
WANT: During the year, I collect ideas of toys that the kids want and then pick one that’s been talked about a lot as their “big” gift. This year my oldest wants transformers and my second wants another Dinkum Doll and clothes for them. For my 2-year-old, I’m getting an indoor balance beam because he never stops moving!
NEED: This is an easy category as I can always think of baby/toddler/kid items we need. Feeding supplies, sports or camping gear, refills on art supplies, etc.
WEAR: Usually I pick something that’s needed and nicer (read: longer-lasting but pricier) than I would usually buy. For example, Smartwool ski socks for my oldest (last year it was a wool base layer), a lined purple sweatshirt from Primary for my pink- and purple-obsessed 3-year-old, or a hand-knit hat for my younger toddler.
Some people buy something to make–like a craft project or puzzle–instead of clothing. This is a nice alternative if your child’s closet is already filled to the brim.
READ: Always photo albums of their years designed by me. I am not a big purchaser of books because we have SO many of my old favorites from my mom’s basement + we frequent the library. The albums get pulled out and read constantly though!
Shopping for Others
Unpopular opinion, but I don’t really buy gifts for my kids when they’re babies–so with a 2, 3, and 5-year-old this year, that leaves me with just a dozen gifts to purchase for under our tree. Eric and I also don’t exchange presents. And when we give gifts to the other adults in our lives, we usually exchange consumables–food/candy/tea, gift cards, body products, stationary, etc. So my Christmas shopping is really just for our own kids and our nephews, which makes it wonderfully simple!
Before the holidays, we also declutter our toy bins to make space for new things. It helps with the post-Christmas slump feeling to not be buried in clutter on December 26.
Do you use the four gift rule for Christmas? How else do you simplify your holiday season?
xx Claire
