The whole point of Christmas, to me as a child, was the presents. I wasn’t raised in a Christian household so whilst I knew the real reason for the holiday, I didn’t truly understand the significance. And we always did Christmas at home, often without extended family, so togetherness wasn’t a huge part of our celebration either.
My parents didn’t go over the top, but we usually got one large gift plus several smaller ones like books or clothes. Plus lots of gifts from grandparents, aunts and uncles. And we had stuffed stockings, boxes of cookies, and bags of chocolate truffles. The essence of Christmas in the Branigin house was decadence.
Then I grew up and began to strive for a simpler, more meaningful-to-me life. I also became a Christian. Not that there was anything wrong with the way my family of origin celebrated Christmas, but it didn’t fit with my values or personality anymore.
Over the years, I have swung from barely celebrating Christmas to participating in all our families’ normal festivities. 2021 feels like the first year where we are successfully balancing our wants with family traditions. We’ve baked cookies, done a couple of holiday activities, and put up a tree, but it’s been very low-key.
(2021 is also the year we got real, with ourselves and each other, that our families of origin do not prioritize close family relationships in the same way that we’ve tried to. Essentially, we had been waiting for people to realize a truth that’s simply not true for them. Which is a painful thought, but we’re choosing to move forward with our lives with newfound freedom and different goals instead. All this to say–if you find that the joy of Christmas is mingled with grief for you this season, you’re not alone. We are there, too.)
Thoughtful Children’s Gifts?
We’ve settled on not giving each other presents anymore, especially since I have a late November birthday and Eric’s is in mid-January. It’s just too many gifts!
For the kids, I waffled for a while. Their grandparents spoil them. And I wouldn’t have it any other way! Our parents love to give gifts, and I would never deny them that joy.
But it didn’t feel right to give no gifts from us, so I settled on a few thoughtful children’s gifts.
- Cuddle+Kind dolls: I got both boys a stuffed cat, the large size for tot and the smaller for Babers. I love that these purchases donate meals to children, and they are beautiful handmade stuffed animals.
- Play silks: Toddler is into playing dress-up recently, and I love these ethically-made silks for how open-ended they are!
- Organic clothing: Babers needs an entire 12-18mo wardrobe for cold weather. I got him several shirts, onesies, and pants from Hanna Andersson.
- Annual photo albums: I started doing this in 2019 for tot. I go through our Google Photos and photos family/friends have sent to compile albums for each kid. It’s nice to have some memories in print.
I’m going to lay things out tonight under the tree for a quiet Christmas morning. Then my mom is stopping by in the morning, we’re calling my sister, then my dad/stepfamily, then Eric’s family in the afternoon. And I’m making risotto for dinner followed by a big plate of cookies!
Merry Christmas!
xx Claire