It’s been over two months since I (somewhat spontaneously) deleted my Instagram account. I’d been thinking about it for over a year, and one day I just went through with it. Annoyingly, Instagram doesn’t permanently delete your account for an entire month in case you change your mind–but February 22nd came and went and finally my account was gone for good.
What Surprised Me Most
… was how I don’t miss it at all. It’s relieving not to be able to log in–not to feel like I “should” check in on everyone I used to follow. Not to have all those profiles to compare my life to. Not to be able to mindlessly scroll the explore tab for an hour and then feel like garbage.
I haven’t once seriously considered making a new profile. Since I deleted mine, Instagram has further limited access to profiles for those without an account–and somehow that’s a relief too. I’ve realized I don’t want the ability to check in on all those random people I would/will never meet in real life. Keeping tabs on my actual friends and family is enough for me.
What Didn’t Change
… is that unfortunately Facebook is there to fill the void. And Reddit, and parenting forums, and the Internet in general. I’ve realized that while deleting individual social media accounts provides some relief from the mindless scrolling–Instagram was my worst offender by far!–a smartphone has more than enough functionality to enable me to find something to do on it when I’m bored, even without a specific app.
Sooo I decided to take it a step further and pre-order a light phone. (The 2, not the 3; money doesn’t grow on trees in my backyard.) Yep, we’re taking it back to the technological Dark Ages around here… back to 2011, before I got my first smartphone.
My current Samsung Galaxy has been on the decline for a while. It doesn’t reliably receive calls or allow me to access my voicemail. So a replacement phone has been in the works for a while. I’ve been eyeing the light phone for a looong time, since reading The Shallows back when we lived in California and figured, well, why not?
If I absolutely hate it, I can always buy a new cheap Android smartphone and go back to having a little computer in my pocket. I probably will at some point.
My End Goal
What I really want out of a simpler phone is to eliminate a choice. When we were in Norway, something that surprised me was how little choice there was for many things. Doctors. Schools. Brands of milk at the grocery store. What to do with one’s disposable income (spoiler alert, you don’t have any :P)
When confronted with this lack of choice, I learned two things about myself. One: A lot of how I saw myself was based on how I spent my money. When non-Americans talk about American consumer culture, I get it now. I liked to think I was different, but a lot of my self-image was based in my own consumption.
And two: even though it caused a minor identity crisis, I really really really liked having fewer choices. It felt like I got part of my brain back! Mental energy to spend on more important decisions that the logistics of daily life.
Whether or not willpower is a finite emotional resource is up for debate. Research suggests that many different factors contribute to our ability to resist temptations (source). In my own experience, I resent how much willpower I am putting towards resisting picking up my smartphone during moments where I would prefer to be doing something restful and fulfilling.
So here’s to breaking bad habits and creating healthier ones! What’s a positive habit you’ve been working to build lately?
xx Claire